Bonds
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: A bond is powerful. Precious. It sustains and endures, thru the worst of jutsu. It is a place to which you can return, no matter what. But can this bond be preserved? Or will it be sacrificed for the sake of power? NarutoxfemSasuke! Fluff! Humor! Epic!


**A/N: Thanks in part to Reishin Amara for this unique (if strange) idea! Just a little what if story, nothing too serious. Something to make all of you laugh and smile.**

_A fool is a man who reaches beyond his grasp. A fool is a man that refuses to accept there are limits to his knowledge. I am no fool._

_~Uchiha Sasuke._

_**Advent**_

Uchiha Sasuke was not pleased.

He was not pleased; because today was a day like any other.

Today, on the day of his graduation as a genin, everyone was fawning over him YET again. Every female. Every kunoichi-to-be in his class, ever member of the opposite sex-excluding that Hyuuga-treated him as though he were royalty. The rest of the boys gave him their respect, albeit begrudgingly. All in all, he was rather well-liked. He kept to himself and didn't really bother anyone, nor did he go out of his way to.

Ah, and then there was Uzumaki Naruto.

From what he understood, the boy was an orphan. Ostracized by most as the village pariah, the blond prankster was infamous for being as much of a knucklehead as he was an unpredictable buffoon. It was said that not even the Sharingan could predict what Uzumaki Naruto would do next. That he was here, with a hitiate, intrigued Sasuke. Why had the proctor let him pass? He hadn't been able to make even a single decent bunshin. He'd failed miserably. And yet the "dobe", as Sasuke had dubbed him, had a foolish and hopeless crush on Haruno Sakura, the latter being yet another of his infatuated fangirls.

Which is how we come to find Naruto here, staring Sasuke down as though he were the spawn of satan.

_"What the hell does he want?"_ The Uchiha wondered, discarding his brooding expression in favor of a slight scowl. One that Naruto gladly returned. Pompous ass! If he wanted a staring contest then he was going to get one! Naruto held no fear for _him_ this so-called class prodigy. He didn't care if he was an Uchiha _or_ if he had his clan's much vaunted Sharingan. He was still an asshole!

Sasuke didn't much care what anyone thought of him. Least of all Naruto. He wasn't here to make friends. He wasn't here to exchange pleasantries. He was a shinobi. He was an Uchiha. He didn't consider himself to be superior to others solely by birth. He, unlike the rest of _them_ had been training every day of his life. Since the massacre of his clan. Since the day his elder brother _murdered_ his family, phsycologically raped him, and fled the village; leaving _him _to flee in disgrace. Now he was the last. The last Uchiha. The pride of his clan rested solely upon his shoulders; charging him with the task of avenging his family and restoring his clan. And until the former was accomplished, he held no interest in the latter whatsoever.

Nor did he have any in this fool of a dobe who kept harassing him!

"Naruto, stop glaring at him!" Ino protested loudly. "You're making Sasuke-kun angry!" Soon enough the mob of unwanted fans had turned their wrath upon Naruto. It was all Sasuke could do to shut it out. Naruto, on the other hand, remained oblivious to their weak killer intent. He might've rolled his eyes, but that would mean blinking and blinking meant a loss to Sasuke. He wasn't going to lose to Sasuke. He would win their little staring contest and then...then...

...and then Kiba accidentally elbowed him from behind.

"Oops, sorry man!"

Naruto staggered forward, his eyes growing large and wide. He pinwheeled for a moment, his arms spiraling as he struggled to regain his balance. To say that he failed would be moot in point. There was nothing for him to do but fall forward. Onto Sasuke. _Shit._ The Uchiha had time for but one thought, and this was it:

_Shit!_

Immediately after the kiss, Uchiha Sasuke went poof. Poof, as in a plume of smoke billowed outward the moment Naruto's lips_-yuck!-_found his. Fury flashed in his eyes. Both boys cried out; one in anger and the other in pain, as someone lashed out. Sasuke thrust a hazy heel into the blonde's groin and felt something break there. His body began to shimmer, but that didn't stop the Uchiha from launching a vicsious follow through. Before Naruto could recover from the sudden shattering of his genitalia, Sasuke struck again. Blood spurted across the room as the Uchiha's fist found Uzumaki's nose and subsuquently shattered it alongside his pride.

Naruto flew.

_Literally._

His feet left the desk and he was sent spiraling across the room, leaving a sizeable indent in the northernmost wall. Before anyone could intervene, Sasuke launched himself upright, his face full of fury. And then suddenly Sasuke was there, towering over him like an angry god about to torture him within an inch of his life. Naruto curled into the fetal position. For what good it did him, as the Uchiha began to beat him senseless.

"You...You..._You idiot!"_ Sasuke screamed! "Do you _know_ how embarrassing this is! Do you _know_ how long it took father to create this technique! Forever! That's how long! Now you've gone and screwed it up! And now my balance is off! Now I have to buy a new outfit and other crap! AND IT'S ALL! YOUR! FAULT!" His voice was steadily growing in pitch until it emerged as a demented screech, lacking the casual timbre of his voice. He hollered once more, drawing out the strange and lovely voice that had replaced the usual and low timbre of his masculine tone.

_**"Na-ru-to!"**_

Horror, dismay, and disbelief flickered across the face of every female in the classroom. Because by the end of Sasuke's rant, the haze had cleared. And Uchiha Sasuke could no longer be seen amongst them. The newcomer straddled Naruto, her hands wrapped around the blonde's throat and face; both of which were little more than one massive bruise after the beating he'd sustained.

"S-S-Sasuke-kun?" Sakura exclaimed aghast, looking at the newcomer in shock. "Where did Sasuke-kun go...?"

Ino gawped wordlessly.

"Th-Th-That's n-not Sasuke...

Huffing angrily, the girl sat up, but not before kicking the unfortunate blond between the legs. Every male in the room cringed in sympathy. There was nothing worse than that blow. Not even the most inhumane of torments could hope to compare, to the sheer agony of having one's balls broken at the hand-ahem, _heel,_ of an enraged female. Having said that, the newcomer seemed content to deliver several more blows before the anger finally leached from her features.

_"That_ was for stealing my first kiss, asshole!"

Shikamaru tsked softly.

"Well...this is troublesome."

The rest of the room seemed to share in this sentiment as the last vestiges of smoke cleared and exposed the kunoichi.

Dark and loose, the long tresses fell around his eyes in a black curtain from a down-turned face and shoulders, shading onyx black eyes from the harsh light. They could not however, disguise the slim face within, nor those eyes from sliding downward to her chest. With a swift and violent movement, she jerked open the collar of her shirt, pulling aside the wrappings to expose the reason for the most prominent feature weight upon her chest, as well as his lack of balance; as she spied the twin globes attached to her chest and his now slimmer shoulders and diaphragm. Slowly, _her_ cheeks began to redden.

"Shit..." Sasuki flushed, her expression downcast. "They... got bigger...

Everyone facepalmed.

**"Nani?"**

**_A/N: And there you have it! Sasuke-kun was really Sasuke-chan all along! Mwahaha! So why is he a girl? And why did Naruto's kiss break the henge? Well, in the EXACT words of Reshin Amara's challenge:_**

_Funniest way to turn sasuke into a girl: Fugaku used a genjutsu seal combo to make sasuke (sa-su-ki e sounds like i) into a boy...but also placed a failsafe so if a male kissed sasuke, the seal would break...preventing fugaku from having a gay son. lol_

**_And so there you have it! It was nice to write from Sasuke's perspective for once, and to keep things light and amusing! Love you all and thank you for your continued support of this and all my other stories! Be sure and tell me what you think! __Thanks so much for stopping by and hope to hear from you soon!_**

**_~Nz_**

**_P.S:_**

**_R&R! =D_**


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